How Well Do You Know Your Partner?*
You can do this exercise as a game that you play together in the spirit of laughter and gentle fun.
- Each of you can take a piece of paper and a pen/pencil. TOGETHER randomly choose 10 numbers between 1 and 20 and then write these numbers in a column on each of your papers.
- Next, using the numbers you chose match the number with the corresponding question in the list below. Then you can either:
- (a) each write your answers to the questions and take the next step; or
- (b) proceed directly to the next step.
- Ask each other one question at a time (each answering the same question before moving on
to the next.)
- You & your partner randomly choose numbers 2,3,5,8,11,12,14,15,18,20.
- You ask your partner, “Tell me, what’s my favorite musical group?” And your partner gives what s/he thinks is the name of your favorite group.
- Then your partner asks you to name her/his favorite group.
- Then move on to the question that corresponds to the next number you chose (in this case #3).
See how many of your partner’s responses match your own answers to the questions.*
- Name my two closest friends.
- What is my favorite musical group or composer or instrument?
- Name one of my hobbies.
- What stressors am I facing right now?
- When is my birthday?
- What is the date of our anniversary? What number anniversary is it this year?
- What is my favorite time of day for lovemaking?
- What is my favorite way to spend an evening?
- What kind of present would I like best?
- What is one of my favorite ways to be soothed?
- What do I most like to do with time off?
- What turns me on sexually?
- What kinds of books do I most like to read?
- Which side of the bed do I prefer?
- What is one of my favorite desserts?
- What is my favorite color?
- What was my favorite vacation?
- Which sports team is my favorite?
- What foods do I hate?
- Do I have a secret ambition? What is it?
If you find yourself having trouble answering these questions about your partner you might want to consider seeking some support for your relationship. In my 15 years of practice I have used a few books including The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work
and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
which have made a huge difference in my clients' lives and that I highly recommend to you now.
* Adapted from Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman & Nan Silver. ©1999 Crown Publishers, Inc.
Did you have more misses than right-on responses? You might want to learn effective ways to KNOW YOURSELF at a DEEPER LEVEL & SHARE the DETAILS with YOUR PARTNER.
Call Nancy Brockett, PhD (860-223-2232) or email (email@example.com) and schedule a free first consultation.
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